Voluntary Simplicity

For a year I have practiced voluntary simplicity. I gave up my beautiful new car and all its luxuries to spent one full year on foot and public transportation. One year despite the difficulty, the akwardness, the inconveinince, the criticism and the unexpected judement I incured.

I gained and lost a relationship and borrowed other people cars for the subsequent moves involved. I walked alot and discovered the joy of urban hikes. I learned to love the weather even in the challenge it presented in lugging dog food home on the bus.

I learned to be alone with myself in a way many people never do, alone in a crowd, alone in my mind, alone even in my intimate relationships. I learned to find and face deeper issues in myself that my previous lifestyle had allowed me to push under the rug all to easily.

I came to value the walk that comprised my morning commute the way some people loathe their own 20 minutes trapped in traffic. The smell of the air, the feel of the sun and wind, the sights of local domesticated and wild life, all filled my heart along with my senses. I felt a daily connection to life and the larger community that was not possible or even noticable from behind the safety glass of a vehical

Nutria

A nutria is a small beaver-like creature, that chews on wood and debris, lives near water and generally seems to be somewhat nocturnal. If one crossed a beaver and a possum it would be a nutria. I have jokingly referred to them as R.O.U.S.'es, on more then one occasion, minus the viscous, aggressive nature and sharp teeth. They are not well known, and in my experience few people outside of the Eugene area even know they exist. Many feel they are an unwanted landscape pest, whereas I always thought they were rare, possibly even endangered.

I need to give you the picture of these somewhat harmless creatures so you understand the level of dismay and revulsion I felt when my only daughter announced one morning that she and her friends intended to hunt one. Oh my. Hunting, in the city, of weird, wild, rodents of unusual size, to feed to some traumatized cats that they had been stuck with, after the sudden death of her roommates father.

“We get to attack it with medieval weaponry”, she texted me calmly.”Its not senseless”, she insisted, at my objections to her actually killing something.“We intend to use all the parts of the animal, including the hide.” “Don't do this. Do YOU have food to eat?” I texted back, weary and unsure how far this crazed plan of participating in the circle of life was actually taking them. Somehow I don't think the average mother has to face these kinds of comments from their 20 year old college student.

Obviously the lack of reason involved in the panning of this endeavor, was something that should have been vetoed by someone in their group of friends, long before it came to the attention of one of the parents, that's just not how things are done. On the other hand, I feel honored that the kids have always sort of let me be one of them and felt comfortable telling me things they didn't share with the usual “grown ups” in their lives.

In the end I transferred money to her bank account and kept, the need from occurring that was prompting such an outrageous plan in the dead of winter just before a snow storm. How utterly weird and venturing into the realm of the shinning. The end of this story is anti climatic, but just the conversation was a brilliant exercise in something irreverent and outside the normal realm of confessions that most parents probably hear.

All Kinds

Reciprocal relationships come in many sizes and shapes. In a love affair there must be reciprocal respect or trust fails, and with out trust there can be no love. We can love the person, but the relationship itself can become bad or unhealthy, and we have nothing worth fighting for except ourselves.

“The greatest thing we will ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” -Moulin Rouge. And it is true. All types of relationships require respect and reciprocity to work well. Friendships work because this is clear cut, but our relationships with relatives are often stormier when this is not such an obvious or well defined component of them. Is it any wonder that our love affairs become cloudy and complicated if our other relationships are damaged, non-existent or overly interdependent.

Reciprocity and mutual respect are very different qualities from co-dependance or inappropriate interdependence. A good friend and psychology major, who enjoys a poly-amorous lifestyle of relationships suggested listing what makes friendships good. And to then apply those important aspects and criteria to my future relationship potential.`