Heartache and Hook ups

Something about heartache and disappointment, or unfulfilled expectations carries some of us to inspect the inside of a tequila bottle. What an interesting and self destructive ritual, but a ritual just the same. When something we care about or have vested interest in does not work out according to our petty human plans, we can walk away, try again, lick our wounds, plot revenge, or just give up. But the emotional component needs an outlet, and the siren song of self destructive behavior is a road to easily indulged, but still a fairly common response to the multifaceted human condition. Some people have a healthier way to nurture themselves through disappointment, but we’ve all made choices we regret from pain, numbness, anger, or apathy. Drinking your problems away just gives you problems and a hangover, but even the physical pain of this condition is a ritual of its own sort, and many would argue that in modern American culture learning to manage ones drink, and crying through the results of NOT managing it are common rites of passage for many young adults. Learning self control, moderation and natural consequences for behavior is an important skill for managing ones life in the modern world.
Some people might fast, or pray or meditate, or immerse themselves in someone else's problems in order to lose track of their self pity and make a positive difference in their community. But what happens when a person is struggling with a major life crises, or transition, or loss of identity, or a spouse, or a child? Certainly grief is a process, and everyone handles it differently and at their own pace, and their is no one right way to get through it, tequila, meditation, dancing naked under the full moon, or moving to a new city to rebuild ones identity with a new life. Time is the common thread, and there is no way to rush it, push it or hurry it up. “You can’t step in the same river twice.” Nor can you push the river for your own plans.
Sitting around, nursing my own problems I chose to lean on a friend. While visiting, my friend had an old flame visit one night for a hook up. It was interesting to observe the “remember when” talk, and the mating dance of casual familiarity, and best behavior. The boastful stories of sexual or alcoholic prowess, previous relationship navigation's, and work life interpersonal skills. Laughing at everyone's “party piece” stories and bad jokes. The mating dance, whether its a hook up, or a heartfelt love connection is a ritual, a ceremony, and even a rite of passage in any kind of relationship. My favorite is the unrestrained expressions of appreciation for the other persons time, talent, effort and interest, an expression that often seems to fade to a bitter place of expectation at later stages in relationships.