Jan. 27, 2011
Transition makes it difficult to see the goal, or outcome. Sometimes all we can see is the next step in the dark. Sitting in a coffee shop, I was freaking out because recently I lost my car. Well I voluntarily surrendered it. I did a practice run on the bus system to be ready for my new the job next week. This has been hard. I am learning a new skill set and life without a car requires a different set of accessories then before. I find I need a warmer coat for example. I was about an hour later then I will need to be on work days, and it was COLD. No seat warmers. No radio. But also no parking or gas expenses. I have a lot to be thankful for right now, but this is hard. Dragging the dog outside for a walk 4 hours earlier then he is used to wasn’t much fun either. He likes to lounge in bed in the morning and soak up the sun if it appears. Don’t we all. If I had the energy I would be in mid-pissy dance.
So now I am planning to focus on research and compile the pieces of happy dance I have found on the internet. But this project is difficult. My resources are not typical or all what I had hoped and the things I am learning as I pursue seem less involved with my subject then with learning to live a new life as a student. I am supposed to write about it all, but I am over whelmed. Straddling a new life, while still combing through the broken pieces of an old one is tough. As if on cue, my Ex called as I wrote that last line, and tried to get me to commit to throwing my money into one of his old, junker cars. He tried to work the angle that it was for my benefit. It has been parked for 4 years and not running. If it were truly so easy, it would have run before now I suspect. I am so weary of people and their angles. I am not a resource or a commodity.
Being behind on finances, giving up my beautiful dream car, dealing with an unstable and temperamental ex who is trans-gender and filled with drama and chaos, and struggling with my homework blocks has left me drained and feeling fairly isolated. But I value the hard earned solitude that fighting through difficulties alone lends to one. I am finding myself at the magical place of “nowhere to go”. No demands, no expectations, no unrealistic agendas. I am very nearly free, outside of anyone else’s preferences or needs. Now I have just the wonder of the person I am becoming and the life I am building and creating for myself, whole, healthy, and beautiful again. Worthwhile. Who am I? What do I want in and from life? I get to quest and find out! It is an adventure all my own!
I am truly on my own again, and as the wall of fear comes down, I am rediscovering that I like it that way. I might even prefer it, as I once did, long ago. I don’t want anyone in my life demanding my time, or energy, or bullying me into doing things or sharing things that I would rather not. It is making it easier to transition. I have reached a point where “I wake up every morning and thank God I don’t have some middle-aged, menopausal man to bother me. I am free, and I’m single and it great”.
I can simply avoid anyone who might try to guilt me into overextending myself, or bending over backwards to suit their desires or convenience without regard for my own. This is a huge blessing. I can make mistakes, and do things that are stupid, and foolish, and I am the only one who has to pay for it. I can say NO, and set limits, and standards, and NOT have to compromise them for someone else. This is Novel.
So now I make daily lists, what do I want? What do I like? What are my interests? How can I better pursue my project? What does anything in my own life have to do with my project? And how can I convey that? How can I add value to the life I already have? How can I set a course for my future that is truly about me and not a child or boy friend, or spouse, or aging parent? No one can stop me from becoming who I am and living my own life. What is the next step? And How can I do justice to this project that truly fascinates me even when I have lost the vision and the direction for it?
Happy Dance. Spontaneous celebration. Ceremony, Ritual, modern life and culture. Real people living in the real world, and not some poorly contrived “Reality TV show”, made to appeal to the lowest common denominator of society, morals, and tastes. My project is scientific, academic, artistic and relevant to humanity rediscovering value in itself, as I rediscover the value in myself. Speculation is part of questing. Getting lost in the forest of ideas, and idealism, becoming confused by messages and information is an archetypal element of such a journey, be it physically, emotionally or psychically. A quest is a symbolic journey with many paths, choices and archetypes to meet along the way that shape and mold the character of the hero, and bring him changed to the final destination which is always the beginning. We are each the hero of our own and collective Journey.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Tantrums and drugs
Pissy Dance?
If for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, then it stands to reason that there is an equal and opposite to the “Happy Dance”. This must surely be the Pissy Dance, or the micro tantrum. That whining and stomping and throwing of limbs that happens when we don’t get our way, or things don’t go according to our meager hopes or plans. Now obviously this is not going to happen in a board room environment, but I have witnessed it in many social settings, on many levels, from the exasperated sigh, to the full on escalation of expressed displeasure. What is this? How does this fit into our sense of ceremony, celebration and ritual or the lack there of?
On a recent visit to a popular ice cream parlor to people watch and indulge a binge in the ultimate dairy drug experience, we observed that almost no one seemed happy or even cheerful. Lined up at the counter like junkies awaiting their fix, the patrons took their ice cream and sat in stoic silence, or stomped off into the rainy night. The only evident exception was the children but their post sugar excitement seemed frantic and manic, NOT happy, or cheerful, or joyous. What’s the deal? Where is the joy? Where is the savoring of the delicious treat? It just reinforces my opinion that dairy IS a drug, and not a very healthy or happy one at that. We have a micro tantrum when they don’t have the flavor of ice cream we want, or if the line is too long, but we are not made happy by the indulgence. I will have to look elsewhere to capture spontaneous joyousness in action.
If for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, then it stands to reason that there is an equal and opposite to the “Happy Dance”. This must surely be the Pissy Dance, or the micro tantrum. That whining and stomping and throwing of limbs that happens when we don’t get our way, or things don’t go according to our meager hopes or plans. Now obviously this is not going to happen in a board room environment, but I have witnessed it in many social settings, on many levels, from the exasperated sigh, to the full on escalation of expressed displeasure. What is this? How does this fit into our sense of ceremony, celebration and ritual or the lack there of?
On a recent visit to a popular ice cream parlor to people watch and indulge a binge in the ultimate dairy drug experience, we observed that almost no one seemed happy or even cheerful. Lined up at the counter like junkies awaiting their fix, the patrons took their ice cream and sat in stoic silence, or stomped off into the rainy night. The only evident exception was the children but their post sugar excitement seemed frantic and manic, NOT happy, or cheerful, or joyous. What’s the deal? Where is the joy? Where is the savoring of the delicious treat? It just reinforces my opinion that dairy IS a drug, and not a very healthy or happy one at that. We have a micro tantrum when they don’t have the flavor of ice cream we want, or if the line is too long, but we are not made happy by the indulgence. I will have to look elsewhere to capture spontaneous joyousness in action.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
What is a Happy Dance?
I love happy dances. Spontaneous bursts of joyous celebration. I have observed my own and other peoples happy dances for years and noticed several things that seem to hold true about happy dances.
1, Many people are completely unaware of their own happy dances. Or fail to recognize them for what they are. (I admit it is possible they do notice and just don’t find it the slightest bit interesting, but my experience is that most people don’t BOTHER to notice). Happy dances differ from person to person.
2, Happy dances can be big or small, solitary or group oriented. They can and do happen anywhere and everywhere.
3, Most happy dances last only a few brief seconds, but some can be expanded into several minutes of celebratory joyousness. Whether it’s a leap in the air and a click of the heels, or boogeying down to the funk fantastic. Be it a quick shrug with a fleeting smile and a wink, or a cartwheel on the walk home, Happy dances erupt from all of humanity except the deeply depressed. Even just a prolonged eye contact and wriggly eyebrows can be a minute happy dance of sorts, in the midst of a crowded restaurant, or from a hospital bed.
4, You cannot fake a happy dance, not even your own. Even if one becomes aware of what their particular happy dance is, and recreates the timing and movements of the joyous little jig, it loses the essence, the spontaneity that elevates a true happy dance to the tangible expression of contagious bliss.
5, Most people have more than one happy dance for different kinds of occasions and environments. For example the happy dance one does on the field after a particularly well executed sports play, may be very different from the happy dance the same person does in the board room when their idea is chosen for special recognition. This will be different again, from the happy dance at the conclusion of a very successful first date, or finding out that your crush likes you back.
6, Happy Dances often change over time. Although the elements may remain the same, your Happy Dance may change to incorporate new moves as you become more or less self conscious, gain better balance, or stiffen with age or injury.
7, Dancing in general makes many people feel happy due to the endorphin release and feeling of letting go. Some people dance to become happy, or become happy from dancing. In some cultures dance is considered a form of prayer. This is GREAT, but not what I mean when I talk about happy dances.
Now we come to the dilemma. If true happy dances are spontaneous and cannot be contrived, then how do we capture, observe and study them? It would seem I have to be around a lot of people that are having festive things unfold in their lives large and small. I can’t just go around constantly filming people and HOPE I capture something usable and authentic. I would miss so much while locked away in the editing room, and defeat the point of being there. I have a few other ideas, but let’s explore some things first.
While visiting my sister the other day she handed me this little book; “Where The Hell Is Matt”? It is all about this guy, Matt who is happily dancing around the world, and getting paid by his sponsor to do it. What!? No joke. He is traveling the world doing this little, silly, simple dance, obviously having a great time, and getting paid to do it. In some of the later stages of the video he gets people in many diverse cultures to do the little dance with him. Perhaps it is not spontaneous, but it is joyous, and very happy.
In one of my favorite Indian Bolliwood productions, “Lagaan”, the villagers dance for spontaneous joy numerous times during the movie. Many of these are choreographed dances, but it creates a lot of joy to watch. When watching dance, or sports or gymnastics and being totally absorbed, the mind sort of shuts down and we are suspended for a moment in silence, connected for that instant to the infinite. The ego mind shuts off and joy can come flooding in, as we are totally present in the moment of NOW.
I like to dance in my kitchen and the kitchens of close friends. It may be spontaneous, but there is usually music, and I am just grooving. Although this is a joy filled activity, and allows me to express my mood in the moment, it is not quite the same as my Happy Dance. We go dancing to have fun. We dance around in expressions of joy and happiness, or sharing a private moment with a lover, and we happy dance because it cannot be contained and we have no conscious intent to do it at all. It just happens, and by the time we notice, it’s done.
Another video I found that inspires me is the train station dance. Obviously planned and implemented by key performers this seemingly spontaneous action invited participation from passersby. In my mind it’s as if it bridged the gap between dancing for joy, and dancing from joy. This may be a small piece of insight into the Happy Dance phenomenon.
1, Many people are completely unaware of their own happy dances. Or fail to recognize them for what they are. (I admit it is possible they do notice and just don’t find it the slightest bit interesting, but my experience is that most people don’t BOTHER to notice). Happy dances differ from person to person.
2, Happy dances can be big or small, solitary or group oriented. They can and do happen anywhere and everywhere.
3, Most happy dances last only a few brief seconds, but some can be expanded into several minutes of celebratory joyousness. Whether it’s a leap in the air and a click of the heels, or boogeying down to the funk fantastic. Be it a quick shrug with a fleeting smile and a wink, or a cartwheel on the walk home, Happy dances erupt from all of humanity except the deeply depressed. Even just a prolonged eye contact and wriggly eyebrows can be a minute happy dance of sorts, in the midst of a crowded restaurant, or from a hospital bed.
4, You cannot fake a happy dance, not even your own. Even if one becomes aware of what their particular happy dance is, and recreates the timing and movements of the joyous little jig, it loses the essence, the spontaneity that elevates a true happy dance to the tangible expression of contagious bliss.
5, Most people have more than one happy dance for different kinds of occasions and environments. For example the happy dance one does on the field after a particularly well executed sports play, may be very different from the happy dance the same person does in the board room when their idea is chosen for special recognition. This will be different again, from the happy dance at the conclusion of a very successful first date, or finding out that your crush likes you back.
6, Happy Dances often change over time. Although the elements may remain the same, your Happy Dance may change to incorporate new moves as you become more or less self conscious, gain better balance, or stiffen with age or injury.
7, Dancing in general makes many people feel happy due to the endorphin release and feeling of letting go. Some people dance to become happy, or become happy from dancing. In some cultures dance is considered a form of prayer. This is GREAT, but not what I mean when I talk about happy dances.
Now we come to the dilemma. If true happy dances are spontaneous and cannot be contrived, then how do we capture, observe and study them? It would seem I have to be around a lot of people that are having festive things unfold in their lives large and small. I can’t just go around constantly filming people and HOPE I capture something usable and authentic. I would miss so much while locked away in the editing room, and defeat the point of being there. I have a few other ideas, but let’s explore some things first.
While visiting my sister the other day she handed me this little book; “Where The Hell Is Matt”? It is all about this guy, Matt who is happily dancing around the world, and getting paid by his sponsor to do it. What!? No joke. He is traveling the world doing this little, silly, simple dance, obviously having a great time, and getting paid to do it. In some of the later stages of the video he gets people in many diverse cultures to do the little dance with him. Perhaps it is not spontaneous, but it is joyous, and very happy.
In one of my favorite Indian Bolliwood productions, “Lagaan”, the villagers dance for spontaneous joy numerous times during the movie. Many of these are choreographed dances, but it creates a lot of joy to watch. When watching dance, or sports or gymnastics and being totally absorbed, the mind sort of shuts down and we are suspended for a moment in silence, connected for that instant to the infinite. The ego mind shuts off and joy can come flooding in, as we are totally present in the moment of NOW.
I like to dance in my kitchen and the kitchens of close friends. It may be spontaneous, but there is usually music, and I am just grooving. Although this is a joy filled activity, and allows me to express my mood in the moment, it is not quite the same as my Happy Dance. We go dancing to have fun. We dance around in expressions of joy and happiness, or sharing a private moment with a lover, and we happy dance because it cannot be contained and we have no conscious intent to do it at all. It just happens, and by the time we notice, it’s done.
Another video I found that inspires me is the train station dance. Obviously planned and implemented by key performers this seemingly spontaneous action invited participation from passersby. In my mind it’s as if it bridged the gap between dancing for joy, and dancing from joy. This may be a small piece of insight into the Happy Dance phenomenon.
how to play along
I am working on a project for school and need your help. Send me your email or video to hppydnce@gmail.com.
I am studying certain aspects of Cultural Anthropology, with a focus on Ritual, Ceremony and Celebrations. Specifically the creation, evolution and expression of what I call "The Happy Dance". Spontaneous little celebrations of happiness and joy that burst forth from us in small unguarded moments.
I want to get video clips (BTW drunken ones taken in your phone count ) of as many different types of people in as many countries and environments as possible for comparative analysis. Please copy this link and send it to your contacts so that they can play too, and I can get Happy Dance submissions from around the globe! That is my goal! world-wide domination -err participation.
If you are able or inclined: Please send me a short video of yourself and/or your friends doing a happy dance! The more spontaneous and authentic (or un-contrived) the better. But all help is appreciated! Please include names with proper spelling, why they are happy dancing, (new car, first kiss, etc.) and permission to use the clip! Also WHO submitted or filmed the clip.
If you would like to know more about my project; or the history and research I have done leading to this point; or just to watch some of the videos I get, Please check out my project BLOG which will link to my YouTube Account and the videos I post.
http://www.myhappydance.blogspot.com
http://www.youtube.com/user/Tamiatreesong
Thank You so much! I will be working on this all quarter, so get the word out and start emailing those video clips! The sooner the better so I can begin comparing the data!
With Sincere Gratitude and Best Wishes,
Tamia Treesong
hppydnce@gmail.com
PS: please feel free to cut and paste this entry and send it to your email contacts! That would be great!
Thank You, Thank you, Thank you!
-love Tamia
I am studying certain aspects of Cultural Anthropology, with a focus on Ritual, Ceremony and Celebrations. Specifically the creation, evolution and expression of what I call "The Happy Dance". Spontaneous little celebrations of happiness and joy that burst forth from us in small unguarded moments.
I want to get video clips (BTW drunken ones taken in your phone count ) of as many different types of people in as many countries and environments as possible for comparative analysis. Please copy this link and send it to your contacts so that they can play too, and I can get Happy Dance submissions from around the globe! That is my goal! world-wide domination -err participation.
If you are able or inclined: Please send me a short video of yourself and/or your friends doing a happy dance! The more spontaneous and authentic (or un-contrived) the better. But all help is appreciated! Please include names with proper spelling, why they are happy dancing, (new car, first kiss, etc.) and permission to use the clip! Also WHO submitted or filmed the clip.
If you would like to know more about my project; or the history and research I have done leading to this point; or just to watch some of the videos I get, Please check out my project BLOG which will link to my YouTube Account and the videos I post.
http://www.myhappydance.blogspot.com
http://www.youtube.com/user/Tamiatreesong
Thank You so much! I will be working on this all quarter, so get the word out and start emailing those video clips! The sooner the better so I can begin comparing the data!
With Sincere Gratitude and Best Wishes,
Tamia Treesong
hppydnce@gmail.com
PS: please feel free to cut and paste this entry and send it to your email contacts! That would be great!
Thank You, Thank you, Thank you!
-love Tamia
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