How does one go about this? What are the rituals that occur? There are a million ways to transform, but nature gives us a good working model. The caterpillar forms a safe chrysalis sequesters itself within it, seemingly absent from the world, but when its process is complete the new, and wondrous butterfly emerges. We must pour new wine into new skins. So many people start with the outside transformation.
A MTF (male to female) Trans-gendered, or trans-sexual person might start by wearing women’s clothing, releasing old friends and things from the past that defines him as a man, and embrace new friends, activities, clothing, colors, and personal items that help zem identify more outwardly as feminine. A woman going through an unexpected break up or divorce might do the same thing. Spend time and money on new clothes, a new look, and new household items that don’t hold memories of old goals or old couple identity for her.
From the outside both of these people are in a major life and identity transition and even crises. That much is obvious, but underneath the obvious it might be hard to understand the choices they make or the way they spend limited financial resources or burn bridges with old trusted friends. To someone not engaged in such a difficult process or a place of emotional turmoil, these individuals may seem irresponsible, careless, or crude. But the seeker cannot be held back by these outside opinions. The road to healing and wholeness is a personal journey as well as an archetypal one.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Theater Productions
One place loaded with ritual, symbolism and ceremony is the Theater. Certain truths hold regardless of the show or production being performed. The curtain, the props, the lights the set, the cast, opening night jitters, “break a leg” and “the show must go on”. So much of the process of a show is in its rituals, whether one is in the audience, or involved with the production itself. Someone is in charge of every aspect of the show, but the communication required between so many people makes tempers short and niceties seem scarce to an outsider. Everyone must be on the same page to make the magic happen and the show a success: the props manager, the stage manager, the house manager, the director, the producer, the cast and the crew and the chorus.
The theater is a place of great superstition, whether real or contrived, it is a tradition and ritual. One that most self proclaimed “Drama Geeks” participate in, and perpetuate with glee. It is a means to prove that they belong in the complex world behind the scenes. It is a shared experience and secret language to create exclusivity, like Latin and botanical names to the scientist. For example: no true theater person, will actually wish another that they respect “good luck” It would jinx their performance, instead they say something that sounds rude, like: “Break a leg, or your neck or fall down horribly in flames…”
Even worse, for British actors in particular is to dare to utter the actual name of the “Scottish Play” by Master Shakespeare! (MacBeth). No one does this unless the play is actually being performed. It is akin to breaking a mirror in other superstitions. Perhaps these superstitions came from the early vaudeville performers, and further back, maybe the Roma, the gypsies that traveled and made their living as performing troupes and later with circus acts…
Every production has one or more of these back stage scenarios: nervous understudies, lost props, incomplete or faulty sets, temperamental (or occasionally incompetent) directors, arrogant actors, or wandering cast members who consistently miss their cues, or take the costumes home. Murphy ’s Law seems to run rampant in the theater, and if nothing actually goes wrong at all… well that’s when the real trouble begins. If nothing goes wrong, well it could mean anything! The show will be a flop, the lead actor will get TB, or the producers will pull out… the worry list is endless. But somehow it all works out. And no matter what drama unfolds behind the curtain, somehow it all comes together when the curtain goes up. No one knows how, or even why, it just works out –usually at the last possible minute.
Now lets flip the coin: As an eager audience member one approaches the ticket sales with hopeful enthusiasm, than shedding coats and finding friends, one takes a seat. The folding seats, crunched up legs and negotiating the passage of fellow patrons squeezing past to claim their own seats is just one small part of the larger normative experience. In fact, as cheesy as this may seem, those narrow folding seats are such an important part of the larger, theatrical magic experience, that the whole concept has been replicated in movie theaters and film houses around the globe. Once the arrival rituals have completed and the house lights go down, one finds oneself waiting in hushed anticipation for the curtain to rise and the show to begin. A particularly enthusiastic crowd may even laugh and applaud the narrator or opening act onto the stage.
Certain behavior protocols are implicit and implied though rarely ever pointed out directly. This is one way that habit and ritual shape our experience and show us their relevance. Again it is the shared experience that instructs one to the proper, expected behavior. Examples might be applauding after each act, or for a particularly well executed gesture or line, Standing up at the end of the performance to show extra enthusiasm. Quietly excusing one ’s self and creeping out to cough, sneeze or let some other noisy bodily function erupt. And the ushers are nearby to encourage waiting for applause or a musical interlude, before creeping back to ones seat in the half dark.
Although there are those who commit the outrageous sin of allowing their cell phones to ring in the theater, the disapproval from the surrounding peers does more to encourage compliance then the largest policeman or laminated sign could ever do. This entire experience is a concentrated example of how we learn our behavior protocols in the world at large. These are unspoken rules and rituals by which we live our lives and engage in the social norms of our particular society or tribe.
Dance Of Anger
Everyone has different ways of responding to and expressing anger. Anger effects us all, from momentary irritations, to the all consuming and unstoppable rage of a grief process. There is no wrong way to process or express this emotion, or any other for that matter, but there are some ways that are healthier than others. In general, in our society women are taught to be patient, understanding and accommodating. To push down our anger and think about how the other person feels. From this we learn that it is not OK to be angry or to act upon our rage in a natural, healthy way of expression.
Obviously there are exceptions to this generality. I have met plenty of men who are seem passive to the extreme, and some women get angry almost daily as a way of manipulating those around them. Meanwhile men are generally taught to cover fear, embarrassment and softer feeling with anger or aggression, stuffing all vulnerability to unseen levels. Neither of these models allows either of the binary sexes to have a natural, healthy relationship with anger, or its natural, appropriate and useful expression. Useful you ask? Yes. Anger can be very useful when used appropriately.
Anger is fuel. Its Healthy. It is a message to let you know that you have gone past many, many cues of “no”, and “Stop”, and “don’t do that”. Anger is the fuel to end a frustrating situation. It is very effective to overcome inertia, when we know how to use it appropriately. The trick is knowing how to give ourselves permission to end the situation before it becomes frustrating. This is a dance we all must do.
Obviously there are exceptions to this generality. I have met plenty of men who are seem passive to the extreme, and some women get angry almost daily as a way of manipulating those around them. Meanwhile men are generally taught to cover fear, embarrassment and softer feeling with anger or aggression, stuffing all vulnerability to unseen levels. Neither of these models allows either of the binary sexes to have a natural, healthy relationship with anger, or its natural, appropriate and useful expression. Useful you ask? Yes. Anger can be very useful when used appropriately.
Anger is fuel. Its Healthy. It is a message to let you know that you have gone past many, many cues of “no”, and “Stop”, and “don’t do that”. Anger is the fuel to end a frustrating situation. It is very effective to overcome inertia, when we know how to use it appropriately. The trick is knowing how to give ourselves permission to end the situation before it becomes frustrating. This is a dance we all must do.
Redfine The Goal: Widen The Scope
From ceremony and ritual in a culture that at first glance may seem devoid of them, to rites of passage specifically, I explored the back ground and inspiration for the spontaneous expression of joy known as Happy Dance. I abridged and defined what does, and does not qualify as a true happy dance. I made detailed descriptions of the genuine happy dances I was able to observe. But I have been stumped on how to capture authentic happy dances on film. How can I anticipate them without manipulating outcomes or contriving and recreating scenarios?
Recently I received interacted with some class mates from last spring quarter. One of them suggested that perhaps by narrowing my scope to much, I am in fact trying to play God, and that I need to stay open to where the material and process of discovery wants to take me. So rather than focus solely on happy dances I need to continue to include and consider other forms of ceremony and ritual in my ponderings and directly observable, experiential learning.
About two days later I got an email from another classmate who viewed my blog. The feedback she provided was very encouraging and supportive. She also suggested destinations I could visit to have a better chance of capturing spontaneous Happy Dances on Film. Places like Disney Land, and theme parks, dog parks and cultural events, and even tourist locations. This is very helpful, even though a part of me remains dubious. Especially because the ice cream parlor was a huge and mysterious let down.
Our popular culture knows and makes references to Happy Dance all the time. While the supposed happy dance in this clip is very obviously contrived as part of the show the actors are performing, it is a reference in popular culture television to the phenomenon.
Recently I received interacted with some class mates from last spring quarter. One of them suggested that perhaps by narrowing my scope to much, I am in fact trying to play God, and that I need to stay open to where the material and process of discovery wants to take me. So rather than focus solely on happy dances I need to continue to include and consider other forms of ceremony and ritual in my ponderings and directly observable, experiential learning.
About two days later I got an email from another classmate who viewed my blog. The feedback she provided was very encouraging and supportive. She also suggested destinations I could visit to have a better chance of capturing spontaneous Happy Dances on Film. Places like Disney Land, and theme parks, dog parks and cultural events, and even tourist locations. This is very helpful, even though a part of me remains dubious. Especially because the ice cream parlor was a huge and mysterious let down.
Our popular culture knows and makes references to Happy Dance all the time. While the supposed happy dance in this clip is very obviously contrived as part of the show the actors are performing, it is a reference in popular culture television to the phenomenon.
What Do Happy Dances Have in Common?
There is a spring of bounce in the body or step of each of them at the peak of expression, or the height of each person’s bliss threshold. There is no known way to measure this without lab equipment, and somewhat contrived and artificial stimuli; so direct and repeated observation seems necessary to establish the various levels and degrees of happiness expressed by each individual. For comparative analysis, repeated observation may be the most effective and reliable measurement technique I have. Ideally I would like to capture these happy dances and spontaneous expressions on film for repeated viewing and logging a systematic way to assess Happy dance beyond crude momentary perceptions. But without unbridled spontaneity Happy dance is no longer authentic expression.
Here is some footage from "The Nerd Fighter Happy Dance Project". Looks like they did my work for me. But do any of these really meet the criteria of authenticity? I doubt it.
still interesting to watch and analyze though.
Here is some footage from "The Nerd Fighter Happy Dance Project". Looks like they did my work for me. But do any of these really meet the criteria of authenticity? I doubt it.
still interesting to watch and analyze though.
Devon's Evolving Joyousness
When she was young Devon would hop from one foot to the other, elbows bent, fluttering her wrists at face level and making little fishy faces, while repeating in a high pitched voice whatever it was that had sparked her joy. Something like: “I got a gerbil! I got a gerbil!” or “Purple! They’re purple! I have purple shoes!”
As she got older Devon toned down her happy dance, the fishy faces are pretty rare, but the high girly, wistful voice is still present: “I got a new friend!” Now, a subtle happy dance would be a wide closed mouth grin, with her head tilted to one side, and wide, slowly fluttering eye lids. A more excited Happy Dance might include jumping up and down, or shaking the head up and down.
When truly blissed out she might lay herself out across the nearest furniture or floor and look back at you upside down, with long, slow cat-like blinks, pretending to be a dragon, she makes one feel like a food source as she silently licks her lips in one long, slow motion, still blinking and smiling.
As she got older Devon toned down her happy dance, the fishy faces are pretty rare, but the high girly, wistful voice is still present: “I got a new friend!” Now, a subtle happy dance would be a wide closed mouth grin, with her head tilted to one side, and wide, slowly fluttering eye lids. A more excited Happy Dance might include jumping up and down, or shaking the head up and down.
When truly blissed out she might lay herself out across the nearest furniture or floor and look back at you upside down, with long, slow cat-like blinks, pretending to be a dragon, she makes one feel like a food source as she silently licks her lips in one long, slow motion, still blinking and smiling.
Kero's brow lifting smirk
Kero lifts her brows and her voice rises a bit, her eyes go wide and she chuckles and makes witty retorts, with a smile widening her lips like the strange and seldom seen expression it is. She does not flail or jump about, but seems to have been everywhere at once and back where she started before you can blink. Arms full, offering you whatever part of the conversation caught her fancy or filled her with spontaneous joy: the cat, the airsoft rifle, the newest video game or belt band, or catalog. Yet when looking right at her she seems almost perfectly still, and quite poised. Except those raised brows, open face, wide eyes and curled back lips chortling with a polite and abbreviated head bow.
Kevin's Happy Pacing and Lusty Saunter
When theorizing on a new concept, or piecing together abstract bits of information in a new way, Kevin begins to hurriedly pace back and forth, and preaches excitedly, almost non-stop. The energy of the whole room shifts around him as he goes into lecture mode. One wonders how he breathes, as he systematically rattles off scenarios and requirements; the light in his eyes reaches a frantic flickering almost as quick as his arm swings. He becomes quite pleased with this expression and it can become self perpetuating if the conversation is right, and he doesn’t become self conscious.
When his attention is even more aroused, by a person, conversation, or idea (a pretty girl talking about the difference between third and fourth dimensional physics for example) Kevin’s eyes light up in a way that makes him even more handsome than usual. He glides across the floor like an apparition, smoothly with a confidence, speed, and agility he does not seem to display so openly at other times. A Saunter is a slower, more sensuous version of a strut. It is mesmerizing and hypnotic, and oh so quick. His usually bright and dazzling smile takes on a depth and authenticity it often lacks to the discerning eye. One feels frozen and baffled, like a rabbit in the head lights. This joy filled, lusty saunter and scoop is a distinctive and completely unforgettable moving picture; A Happy dance of its own caliber, that is tangible and has the effect of transporting others to a similar state of blissful focus.
When his attention is even more aroused, by a person, conversation, or idea (a pretty girl talking about the difference between third and fourth dimensional physics for example) Kevin’s eyes light up in a way that makes him even more handsome than usual. He glides across the floor like an apparition, smoothly with a confidence, speed, and agility he does not seem to display so openly at other times. A Saunter is a slower, more sensuous version of a strut. It is mesmerizing and hypnotic, and oh so quick. His usually bright and dazzling smile takes on a depth and authenticity it often lacks to the discerning eye. One feels frozen and baffled, like a rabbit in the head lights. This joy filled, lusty saunter and scoop is a distinctive and completely unforgettable moving picture; A Happy dance of its own caliber, that is tangible and has the effect of transporting others to a similar state of blissful focus.
Donny's Tasty Food Shimmy
When Donny takes a bite of good food, his eyes roll back, his breathing flutters and, if it’s really good, his knees will buckle and he will have to steady himself on the walls or furniture. Once he catches his breath the groaning ensues. This doesn’t happen with every bite, usually just the first few. It’s kind of amazing. His appreciation is so tangible that his girlfriend and I love to make extra food just so we can feed him when he shows up. The night that Donny was introduced to flan, his quiet little whimpers were almost indecent. I could speculate all day at the pleasure and happiness, and the various levels of nourishment he experiences with being fed so deliberately, or why he wasn't well fed before, but the why is not what I am here to examine, merely the dance of spontaneous Joy itself; whatever its cause or underlying influences to its expression.
Leslie's two stage Happy Dance
Sitting in a coffee shop when she heard the news, Leslie did a two part happy dance. The initial dance was a miniature seated version of the twist. She raised her voice a bit, shook her fists and waved them back and forth above the table while twisting in her chair, and chanting “I got the job, I got the job, I got the job”. Leslie"s happy dance included a few derogatory jabs, and third hand threats of legal action towards her nemesis, and those she felt snubbed by for other jobs. So letting out her anger and resentment clouded the purity of some of the joy, but revenge at least in words seems to be a frequent part of her initial expressions. But once that is expressed as a possible plan, an important change occurs.
About five minutes later the second wave hit. This was a deeper more internalized expression of Joy. The resentment was removed and the happiness a bit more authentic and accessible. Her eyes lit up, and the smile seemed to consume her whole body. Her fists moved up and down in unison as she shook with low pitched, and quiet, but deep laughter. Her head and torso shook back and forth in small but very energetic movements. This seemed to be a smaller, seated version of her full body happy dance. I’ve seen her wag her whole body like a tail-less dog. The shimmy travels up the body to the head, and back down again to the hips, and out the legs.
About five minutes later the second wave hit. This was a deeper more internalized expression of Joy. The resentment was removed and the happiness a bit more authentic and accessible. Her eyes lit up, and the smile seemed to consume her whole body. Her fists moved up and down in unison as she shook with low pitched, and quiet, but deep laughter. Her head and torso shook back and forth in small but very energetic movements. This seemed to be a smaller, seated version of her full body happy dance. I’ve seen her wag her whole body like a tail-less dog. The shimmy travels up the body to the head, and back down again to the hips, and out the legs.
Tamia's How to GET Happy Dance
She grinned a “Cheshire cat” grin, with big teeth, and wiggled her assets all over. A few shoulder shimmy’s, and high fives, then booty bumped her roommate a few times and bumped fists with the roommates boy friend. She boogied down, played some funk from George Clinton, and boogied right back up again. “If you gotta do the twist, rub some funk on it”. This was a very creative way to put the groceries away. After that it was time to strut. Around the house, off to the store in her favorite coat, and out to the bank. Strutting is a slower more drawn out version of the Happy Dance. Like an after shock. It can happen hours or even days later as a residual ripple of the Happy dance phenomenon. Strutting and wearing your favorite clothes is a longer more deliberate Happy Dance, but still an expression of joy and a just a little bit of impromptu, self righteous bragging to boost the attitude; “Oh yeah. I got it. I’m all that baby. All that and more. Don’t you wish you were me? Oh ya. Lets Rock-n-roll!"
JEN's Happy Dance
”It was crazy! Sporadic! And beautiful. My amazing roommate got a call while we were shopping for clothes. When she learned she got a job that she really wanted she hung up the phone and literally skipped, and danced and jumped in the air! She may have even clicked her heels! She was shrieking and dancing and kicking her legs, waving her arms, oblivious to the huge spectacle she was making of herself. Utterly un-intimidated by the store staff and their disapproving stares, she laughed and hooted and flailed about. I laughed with her, and at the reactions of the people who pretended not to notice. Why has happiness become a taboo in our culture? We can share violence, anger and even sex in the streets but pure, unbridled joy really shakes people up. “
“Is it because there is no script? It’s so unpredictable, and uncontainable. Where could this lead? We might have creativity and innovation. We could see solutions to problems and ultimately people could start thinking for themselves, or stop watching TV, or heavens! We might stop consuming new products… If we are happy and satisfied, content just as we are, we don’t have to engage in “seeking” behaviors, the search for happiness, and it’s a lot harder to sell us things we don’t need to feed consumerism”.
“Is it because there is no script? It’s so unpredictable, and uncontainable. Where could this lead? We might have creativity and innovation. We could see solutions to problems and ultimately people could start thinking for themselves, or stop watching TV, or heavens! We might stop consuming new products… If we are happy and satisfied, content just as we are, we don’t have to engage in “seeking” behaviors, the search for happiness, and it’s a lot harder to sell us things we don’t need to feed consumerism”.
Pissy Dances?
If for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, then it stands to reason that there is an equal and opposite to the “Happy Dance”. This must surely be the Pissy Dance, or the micro tantrum. That whining and stomping and throwing of limbs that happens when we don’t get our way, or things don’t go according to our meager hopes or plans. Now obviously this is not going to happen in a board room environment, but I have witnessed it in many social settings, on many levels, from the exasperated sigh, to the full on escalation of expressed displeasure. What is this? How does this fit into our sense of ceremony, celebration and ritual or the lack there of?
On a recent visit to a popular ice cream parlor to people watch and indulge a binge in the ultimate dairy drug experience, we observed that almost no one seemed happy or even cheerful. Lined up at the counter like junkies awaiting their fix, the patrons took their ice cream and sat in stoic silence, or stomped off into the rainy night. The only evident exception was the children but their post sugar excitement seemed frantic and manic, NOT happy, or cheerful, or joyous. What’s the deal? Where is the joy? Where is the savoring of the delicious treat? It just reinforces my opinion that dairy IS a drug, and not a very healthy or happy one at that. We have a micro tantrum when they don’t have the flavor of ice cream we want, or if the line is too long, but we are not made happy by the indulgence. I will have to look elsewhere to capture spontaneous joyousness in action.
On a recent visit to a popular ice cream parlor to people watch and indulge a binge in the ultimate dairy drug experience, we observed that almost no one seemed happy or even cheerful. Lined up at the counter like junkies awaiting their fix, the patrons took their ice cream and sat in stoic silence, or stomped off into the rainy night. The only evident exception was the children but their post sugar excitement seemed frantic and manic, NOT happy, or cheerful, or joyous. What’s the deal? Where is the joy? Where is the savoring of the delicious treat? It just reinforces my opinion that dairy IS a drug, and not a very healthy or happy one at that. We have a micro tantrum when they don’t have the flavor of ice cream we want, or if the line is too long, but we are not made happy by the indulgence. I will have to look elsewhere to capture spontaneous joyousness in action.
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