FREEDOM

I have begun to be comfortable dwelling in place of question. A place where answers don’t always present themselves in the form of hard, definable facts that fit neatly unto a shelf for easy filing and future reference. Like proof that my assessments are correct, infallible and therefore more valid, like a suit of armor and self-righteousness that I can hold before me. As if being verbally correct or having the ammunition to win an argument makes me better. Instead I am learning to be at peace with the unknown the perpetual question answered by further questions that suggest a more versatile and flexible life.

I realize I don’t have to be a rigid steel beam to be strong or safe, or validated in my thoughts, feeling, beliefs or choices. Rigidity is weak in the end. It is the supple dance of the willow, bending, twisting in the wind and weather, always moving, flowing, changing and responding that holds true strength and grace and beauty. From this lace of generosity and graciousness I have the true opportunity to connect with others and to truly value and receive them, instead of stubbornly shaping them the fit my needs, my agendas. It is here that I am truly self-reliant, all indignation evaporated, all neediness subdued and channeled to more appropriate venues. I am soft, strong, approachable, kind, generous, and quick to be honest. Self-protective without the chains and spikes of irrational, unhealed wounds and fears, because I value myself, and my life and perceptions, therefore I can value others. I can allow others to BE just as they are, with no need to change, or control them to meet my own emotional needs.

I set out on a journey to find the sacred, to find meaning and value in life and celebrations and ritual. Life and the culture I most identified with seemed utterly devoid of this deeper sense of value. The journey has changed the quality of my own life immensely, but it has rippled out beyond my tiny sphere of influence and added an increased quality to many of the lives I touch, creating a wonderful bubble of loving gratitude in nearly every corner of my life and experience. A journey for my own healing, and sanity that has had visible effect and influence on those around me. What a magnificent blessing!

Redfine The Goal: Widen The Scope

From ceremony and ritual in a culture that at first glance may seem devoid of them, to rites of passage specifically, I explored the back ground and inspiration for the spontaneous expression of joy known as Happy Dance. I abridged and defined what does, and does not qualify as a true happy dance. I made detailed descriptions of the genuine happy dances I was able to observe. But I have been stumped on how to capture authentic happy dances on film. How can I anticipate them without manipulating outcomes or contriving and recreating scenarios?

Recently I received interacted with some class mates from last spring quarter. One of them suggested that perhaps by narrowing my scope to much, I am in fact trying to play God, and that I need to stay open to where the material and process of discovery wants to take me. So rather than focus solely on happy dances I need to continue to include and consider other forms of ceremony and ritual in my ponderings and directly observable, experiential learning.

About two days later I got an email from another classmate who viewed my blog. The feedback she provided was very encouraging and supportive. She also suggested destinations I could visit to have a better chance of capturing spontaneous Happy Dances on Film. Places like Disney Land, and theme parks, dog parks and cultural events, and even tourist locations. This is very helpful, even though a part of me remains dubious. Especially because the ice cream parlor was a huge and mysterious let down.

Our popular culture knows and makes references to Happy Dance all the time. While the supposed happy dance in this clip is very obviously contrived as part of the show the actors are performing, it is a reference in popular culture television to the phenomenon.